let's hear it

I'm so blown away by this song! It's from the PussyCatDolls - "Wait A Minute". So catchy. Have you heard it?

The coolest thing about it is the lyrics!! Be all ears cos it has a message to ALL THE GUYS out there. We girls don't have to go through the trouble of saying it over and over, just toss him the Pussycat Dolls cd and he'll get a clue!

a chance to understand me

LONG POST AHEAD.

MY TRUE CONFESSION.

I came across this phrase today.

"Her/His reality is not just something she sees, but also something she lives. The words I speak to her are not only unheard by her literally- but also unlived, and unseen- because she is blinded by her own thoughts"

It didn't occur to me at all, as I read through the lines, that I would understand how it felt. That a stranger could convey a feeling, all this while I never knew how to let out.

Odd enough, I could see myself uttering those words.
It is all too familiar to me. To be unheard. To be unseen. To be taken for granted.

This phrase deeply correlates with two person I knew.

If I had to describe them in words, this is exactly how it will come to transpire.

They were people I care for, whom I spewed things to, who's problems I listen to and who I would be there for, regardless of joyous and difficult times.

If there is one thing we should learn about life, it was to never expect anything in return.

Indeed that was how I live my life.

I thought to myself. The worse response I could probably get would be people expressing no appreciation. No "thank-you"s or whatever. That would probably be the worse-case scenerio.

How wrong I was.

Tell me, how do you deal with someone that never do listens to you? They hear, but they don't listen. All the things you say just can't transmit into their brain, because it's full to the brim with their own thoughts, in their own world.

Nevermind, that's ok, I said to myself.

Dealing with people that didn't give a damn about what I say was still tolerable. So it was an one-way conversation, it seems only THEIR thoughts mattered, it's like the biggest problem of the century, that it deserves full attention.

THEN comes a point.

Where they go, "Good thing you're here. I might as well just use you and stab your back a little, or alot, until I get what I want".

I knew then, that I was being there for all the wrong reasons.

Yet, still I stayed. I forgave but it wasn't easy to forget, though I've tried.

It's already so wrong to use and manipulate people. Even a little kid would know that!

But to have someone use you, and one day, have them CONDEMNING you out of no where, of how bad of a friend you are, how you were not there at one particular time, how you have troubled her, etc, is truly a shame. An insult.

An insult NOT to me.

But an insult to themselves.

At first I couldn't understand, because honestly to God, I gave my friends my all. I'd even give my life if I had to.

I guess I am wrong, because I DID expected something out of friendship.

I expected atleast some gratitude.

I expected atleast some respect.

I expected atleast some understanding.

But here I am.

TOTALLY SPEECHLESS.

Considering how vocal of a person I am, I finally have nothing to say.

Only now I manage to gather how I felt and find words to describe the ache and confusion in my heart.

Dissapointment was what I felt the most, given that a little understanding seems too much to ask.

Who would've know being nice to people was so hard? I never did imagined.

All my life, I have always tried my best to be there for the people I care about. For the people that needed my help. I'd be more than happy and willing to.

Atleast I could make life better for someone.

As a human being. As a Christian. As a daughter. As a friend. Simply as a girl with a place in this world. I know I have an obligation to take on. I have virtues and I had values to live my life by.

Life isn't all about me.

That's the reason why I have never turn my back on anyone. Not even the ones that others would neglect.

Maybe too, because I believe in Karma.

Nevertheless, I'll still be that same person, take things in my own hands, no matter how bad and hurtful it might be.

For the blame that has been bombarded on me now, out of all porportion.

I've came to infer the difference between a friend and FIEND.

I know for one, that God will be the judge for the course of my actions as well as the actions of others.

all movies ought to be like this one

The girls and i were so pysched over a recent action/horror movie, The Covenant!

I just came to know the existence of this movie from my friends. Apparently they're way more updated than obsolete me.

They were so stoked about the flick.

Our conversation went from a casual explanation of the story line, that led to a more dramatic and rather intense descriptions, then finally left us all screaming excitedly and blushing like mad crimson cherries!

What the hell is the commotion all about, you ask?

Simple.

BOYS.

Super Hot Cotton Eye Candies.

Have you not heard about this movie? Check out this really exhilarating trailer.

The only thing is the movie didn't manage to work the top of the charts nor was it that highly publicized.

Reason being the movie was complete sh*t. Or so they say.

One of the critics said, "I think the men were cast more for their abs than acting".

Doesn't that sound like something guys with unflattering abs would say?

Defect may not be the word. But PRETTY, oh yes definitely.

It's about four guys with supernatural powers. It so happen that they seem to possess insanely gorgeous features.

Is filthy rich, on AND off screen, with friggin' nice cars and you don't want to get me started with those delicious bodies.

Tell me. What's so wrong about that?

Absolutely nothing right? (So, stop disparaging already!)

But REALLY, i'm not a girl if i do not drool over these models-turn-actors. *guys can drool too if they want*

Who's up for a movie-marathon? (re-runs of The Covenant)

So Vanessa, Victoria and I made a pact, and was ready to plonk some excitement into our boring-lack-of-cute-guys life.

What's a movie without food to munch?

We had a gut feeling the movie is going to make us really, really hungry.

Hungry for more. Haha.

Original plan was to crash my place.

No thanks to several blunders (like, my living room's aircon that went kaput) caused us to switch last-minute to Vanessa's house.

One hour and a half later. We watched. We ate. We drank. Then, we drooled. We SHRIEKED. We re-played.

The guy, Steven Strait who acted as their leader "Caleb" was enough to make us go bananas!

The entire movie, we just went, "Oh my God. Oh my God. He is so hot. He is SOO hot".

It's almost like a mantra that would make all guys sick to their stomachs.

Our review : The movie was indeed, SATISFYING. In many, MANY ways. Impressive special effects. Well substantiated story line. That little squeeze of sweet romance just adds the icing on the cake!

The slight bummer was I wish they'd be more creative with the fighting scenes, rather than just seeing them push each other around with giant powerballs, repetitively.

Nevertheless, we enjoyed the movie very much!

If I had to rate it, I'd give it a 4/5.

Go watch it. Let me know what you think.

the birthday

I've been really lazy to blog these days. I can't blog like it's a diary. I wish I could, but it just feels too wrong for me. I don't know how others could do it. I must admit I admire their guts.

Anniewho, what's been goin on this week?

Well. Turns out on Monday was Eric's birthday! The kid turned to the big 2.0, and his friends gave him a lil sumthin-sumthin that might help him, lets just say, with his journey towards "adulthood".

I'm sure you can figure that one out already. Heh heh.

The get-together was at Imperial Restaurant.

His favourite spot with his favourite crowd. Eric suggested we try the chicken chop there. It cost quite a bomb compared to the norm, but it was on him, so ofcourse we ordered it.

Appreciate free food people! (I mean, expensive ones)

Later on, we all started to bicker over where to go next. Everyone have made their own plan it seems. Slyvester wanted to eat kolo mee. Eric wanted to watch movie. Darren wanted to make Eric drunk. His cousin wanted to go home.

We girls were the impartial ones. Anything goes. Wouldnt it be easier if they'd just be tolerant like us?

So what if we secretly wanted to relax and trash someone's place? Secretly wanting to get real drinks, junks at 7-11, i mean C-11, and just chill.

But we still remained intact.

Though in the end, the girls got what they wanted. Haha poor boys.

Darren tried to pour in as much alcohol into the birthday boy's lungs as possible. I guess he did, so bravo to Eric! Haha.

It made everyone else head home a little blurry than usual that night.

i loike this picture

That's my friend, MZ in red. Taken during one of his classes I presume.

That, my friends, will be one of his homework.

The subject that he will be "stressing" about, based his reports on, do extensive research on, etc. (its the same like what we do, just way cooler.)

Doesnt that make your heart squirm with jealousy?

Er. Duhhh!!

Some people are just meant to have more fun. *smack myself back to reality*

But, But, But, the turntable looks so irresistibly pretty with those PINK vinyls!!

Not fair! I want too! When you get one, MZ, i'm going to scratch it ALL day. Hih hih hih *evil laugh*

(ok. im just kidding)

case partially solved

I can't wait to get back PJ.

I also can't wait for my old friends to fly their ass back in Miri, end of this month!

And, i've decided to stick to the original. i'm back to Law. i found better routes from there afterall.